Brian Gross, a 49-year-old publicist in Los Angeles, has never had children. He has found that dating older women has helped him avoid the pressure to discuss starting a family, a conversation he has often dreaded. Gross has also found contentment in focusing on his career, hobbies, and relationships with his family members, rather than feeling the need to be in a serious relationship or have children.

Forging a Fulfilling Childless Path

Navigating the Complexities of Relationships

Throughout his adult life, Gross has had several long-term monogamous relationships, including one engagement. However, none of these relationships resulted in children. Gross acknowledges that this was not necessarily a conscious decision, but rather a result of various influences. The painful experience of witnessing his parents' divorce as a young adult, as well as observing the challenges faced by friends who went through divorces after having children, have contributed to his hesitation about starting a family of his own.Gross has also found that his role as a caretaker for his mother and brother has made it challenging to consider adding children to the equation. Additionally, his career as the owner of a PR firm for the past 24 years has demanded a significant amount of his time and energy, leaving little room for the responsibilities of parenthood.

Embracing the Childless Lifestyle

When Gross has dated women seriously, he has had open discussions about their desire for children. He has found that some women, like him, were more focused on their careers and the topic of children never came up. However, there have been a few instances where he felt pressured by his partners to have children, but these relationships ultimately did not work out.Gross has found that dating older women has been a game-changer for him. In his most recent relationship, which lasted nearly four years, he was with a woman who was older than him. This dynamic meant that the conversation about having children never arose, as she was no longer able to have children at her age. Gross found this to be a significant stress relief, as he no longer had to worry about the intense and often uncomfortable discussion around the topic of children.

Redefining Priorities and Relationships

Gross's decision to not have children has led to some challenges in his dating life. He is mindful of the potential for conflict when dating younger women who may have a strong desire to start a family. To avoid leading someone on, Gross is upfront and communicative about his preference not to have children.As Gross has gotten older, he has found that the pressure to be in a serious relationship has eased. In the past, when he was on the fence about having children, he felt a need to be in a relationship if he wanted to have a family. However, now that he has firmly decided against having children, the pressure to be in a committed relationship has diminished.Gross enjoys dating, but it is no longer a priority in his life like it once was. He is content with his life, work, hobbies, and aspirations, and if someone comes along who fits well with him, that's a bonus. But Gross is no longer driven by the need to be in a relationship, as he has found a sense of fulfillment and contentment in his current lifestyle.