Dear Eric, in this letter, I share a series of family-related and hosting dilemmas. It's a complex web of emotions and situations that require careful consideration and communication.

Navigating Family and Hosting Challenges

Brothers and Birthday Gifts

I have two brothers who recently failed to send a birthday gift or card to my 12-year-old daughter. On the contrary, my wife and I always make an effort to send birthday gifts, money, and a card to their kids. My daughter took notice of this absence with a touch of sadness. She otherwise enjoys her aunts, uncles, and cousins. One of my brothers even sent a request for a video game birthday gift to his 9-year-old son. I'm happy to give a gift to my nephew but feel a bit annoyed that this reciprocity isn't there. It's important for my brothers to understand the significance of gifts and how the lack of acknowledgment affects our family connection. Offering to send them reminders or gift request lists for my daughter's sake might be a way to bridge this gap. They might not be great at keeping up with birthdays, but it's still a concern.

Family relationships are delicate, and these small gestures can have a big impact. We want our children to feel loved and remembered on their special days.

Gay Dad and Phone Contact

I'm gay and a dad. Recently, I noticed that my 16-year-old changed his phone contact for me from "Dad" to my real name and changed my husband's name to "Dad". This hurt my feelings. Our relationship with our kids continues to evolve as they grow into adulthood. There have been people in our lives who have questioned the legitimacy of our family structure, but we know the truth. Maybe it's just a funny thing for him that my full government name shows up when I call. Maybe he's experimenting with being more mature and trying out new names. Our phones are a reflection of our inner selves, and it doesn't always make sense from the outside. I'm curious what he calls me when we talk. Is "Dad" still the same? That's a better indicator of our relationship. But the real measure is our actual connection. Try to set aside the hurt and mention it casually if you're worried. If he gives a typical teen response, let it go.

Parent-child relationships are constantly changing, and it's important to communicate and understand these changes.

Brother-in-Law and High-End Alcohol

My brother-in-law is coming for a week's visit and loves high-end alcohol. As a host, I'm struggling with how much to provide. He can easily finish an entire bottle in one night. My husband and I only occasionally have a glass of cheap red wine. I don't want to blow my grocery budget but also want to be a good host. It seems that as the guest, he should bring a fancy bottle of his favorite spirit as a thank-you instead of expecting us to provide it all. At most, we can buy one of his preferred bottles as a gesture of hospitality. Guests shouldn't come with specific demands. If we don't have what he wants, he can stock the bar himself. Sometimes, part of being a guest is asking for directions to the liquor store.

Hosting can be challenging, especially when dealing with guests' preferences and budgets. It's about finding a balance.

Widowed Parent and TV Watching

I read the letter from "Unchanged Channel" about the widowed parent who only wants to watch TV and not socialize. As someone who was widowed eight years ago after 43 years of marriage, I understand the importance of regular health monitoring. At every doctor's appointment, we are asked about depression and overindulgence. The children should ensure their mother goes to a general practitioner at least yearly to monitor her health. This can give them peace of mind.

Taking care of our health is crucial, especially for those going through difficult times.