Last Christmas Eve, the realization dawned on me like a bolt from the blue. It was as if a brick had hit Marv in the face from 'Home Alone', or perhaps it had slowly crept up on me as I wrapped yet another gift at midnight, frustrated with the dull scissors and the awkwardly shaped box that kept poking holes in the cheap dollar store last-minute paper.

Surviving the Holiday Hectic

During a mundane task, it hit me hard - this way of doing things is simply unsustainable. With two kids having winter birthdays, one sandwiched between Halloween and Thanksgiving and the other just days before Christmas, by New Year's Eve, I'm completely worn out. I only have enough energy and sanity left to hand out noise makers and party hats and then fall asleep on the couch at 8 p.m. No matter how much I try to delegate, I'm still the one making the decisions, explaining, following up, and filling in the gaps when things go wrong.This year, I'm throwing in the towel. I'm taking a step back. The kids are now in charge of Christmas. They're not taking over everything; I'm not insane. But at almost 10 and 12 years old, they are old enough to do more than just sit back and wait for the magic to happen. The 3-year-old will surely follow suit and might even be the most capable by the time she's their age.

Responsibilities in Their Hands

This year, they will be in charge of what decorations we put up, what food we eat, and what activities we do. They will source the decorations, help with the shopping, and handle the setup. When I presented this idea to my kids, their initial confusion quickly turned into enthusiasm. They have always had opinions about Christmas (just like most kids do), but now they will have a say in making it happen.Their ideas started flowing rapidly. From classic gingerbread house designs to more ambitious projects like constructing a chocolate fountain. They have collaborated on a wish list for decorations, including popcorn strings to line the entire living room - not just the tree - and a DIY advent calendar where each day is a wacky dare. Plans are taking shape for an elf costume contest, caroling for our cat (yes, you read that right!), and a Dress Like Your Favorite Taylor Swift era. I'm not sure how the latter is holiday-related, but I'm trying to be open-minded.We will have family meetings to discuss priorities: What traditions do we want to keep? What is realistic given our time and budget? And I will be there to set boundaries - because no, we're not putting a live reindeer in the yard or turning the living room into the North Pole.

Anticipated Challenges and Rewards

Will everything go smoothly? Of course not. There will be chaos and forgotten details. But there will also be laughter, creativity, and memories that we will cherish forever.Let me make it clear: This is not about being lazy. It's about survival. Like many moms, I've spent years carrying the mental load of holiday planning. Even with equal efforts from a partner or co-parent, the mental gymnastics of remembering, organizing, and executing every step still feel like it falls on me. It's not just about doing the work; it's constantly thinking about it, and that's exhausting. The insidious messaging from our culture imprints on us the image of a mom in a bright cardigan guiding the children through the motions of holiday cheer. No wonder we have a collective meltdown during this time of the year. Luckily, their dad is on board with this give-it-to-the-kids approach.Handing over some of the responsibilities is a way to not only preserve my sanity but also to teach our kids a valuable lesson: The holidays don't just happen. They require effort, cooperation, and planning. Letting them take on more responsibility gives them agency, ownership, and the opportunity to create memories that are uniquely theirs.I'll never be the "aesthetic mom", and I've accepted that. My Christmas will never look like a curated Instagram feed, and that's okay. I have ADHD and anxiety, little patience, and I'm a bit disorganized. But beyond that, it's about character. I don't want to spend my holidays obsessing over matching garlands or arranging charcuterie platters. I want to spend them enjoying my kids and maybe a few Hallmark movies.What kids really want from the holidays isn't perfection. They want to feel loved, spend time with their family, and have a few (or maybe a lot of) gifts to unwrap. Of course, the decorations and traditions matter, but it's the feeling they will remember. Giving them a say in creating that feeling will serve them well as adults - whether they're celebrating with friends, a partner, or their own kids someday.This year, the kids are in charge, and for the first time, I feel like I might actually enjoy the holidays.Molly Wadzeck Kraus is a freelance writer and mother of three. Born and raised in Waco, Texas, she moved to the Finger Lakes region of New York, where she worked in animal rescue and welfare for many years. She writes essays and poems about feminism, mental health, parenting, pop culture, and politics. She is usually late because she stopped to pet a dog. She tweets at @mwadzeckkraus.