As a mother with two precious daughters, I firmly believe that imparting the value of self-acceptance, both inside and out, is of utmost importance. My eldest daughter, who is just three years old, has developed an early fascination with makeup. She watches me with wide eyes as I sit at my vanity, her tiny fingers occasionally swiping my Charlotte Tilbury lipstick when I'm not looking, leaving me with a rather expensive nub. Yet, she insists on applying her chapstick every day with the same determination as a budding beauty vlogger. When I get all glammed up for a special occasion like a wedding, she squeals with joy and calls me a "princess."

The Importance of Self-Worth

However, there is a crucial aspect to consider. I want my daughter to grow up understanding that her self-worth is not determined by her external appearance. Makeup should be seen as a means of self-expression and a creative outlet, rather than a box that she feels she must tick to meet unrealistic beauty standards. Striking the right balance between these two ideas is not always straightforward. How can I encourage her to explore and have fun while ensuring she realizes her inherent beauty?

The Power of "Fancy" over "Pretty"

Recently, a highly popular TikTok video by mom Maggie Katz caught my attention. With nearly 67,000 views, Maggie and her daughter are standing in front of the bathroom mirror, applying makeup together. What really stood out to me was not just the lovely bonding moment but Maggie's choice of words. She said to her daughter, "You look so fancy." Not "pretty" or "beautiful." Just "fancy."When Maggie asked her daughter why they wear makeup, the reply was, "Because it's fun and we get to look fancy." Maggie reinforced the message by reminding her daughter that she is "pretty no matter what." This small change has a profound impact. Instead of viewing makeup as a tool to fix or enhance flaws, it becomes about pure creativity and fun. It's about celebrating who one already is, rather than striving to become something else.

The Ripple Effect of Small Changes

The comments on Maggie's TikTok are filled with parents who have adopted this approach. One parent said, "I've been struggling to find a way to explain certain things to my girls without making them think they 'need' to do it. This is truly amazing." Another parent shared, "Between this and saying 'Oh, I've gotten too strong for these pants' when my daughter outgrows clothes, my perspective is being completely transformed." And yet another parent commented, "I wish I had heard this as a child."This isn't just about the word "fancy"; it's about the mindset it represents. By helping kids view makeup as a choice rather than an expectation, we are instilling in them a sense of confidence. Maggie has also applied this approach with her son, reminding him that beauty is everywhere and everyone is special in their own way. Just imagine the confidence we would all possess today if we had grown up hearing these messages.

Changing the Narrative, One Word at a Time

For generations, makeup has been marketed as a necessity for women to feel "acceptable" or "worthy." But Gen Z is revolutionizing this narrative with bold eyeliner, vibrant colors, and unapologetic creativity. Makeup is evolving from a tool for correction to a means of self-expression.As parents, we have a remarkable opportunity to support this shift by being deliberate with our words. Whether it's using words like "fancy," "glamorous," or "fun," we can guide our kids in understanding that makeup is an option, not an obligation.

My Promise to My Daughters

The next time my three-year-old daughter smears pink gloss across her face with a proud grin, I will tell her that she looks fancy. I will allow her to play, explore, and express herself freely, while constantly reminding her that she is already perfect just the way she is. Because if there is one thing I want my daughters to know for sure, it is that makeup can add a touch of sparkle, but their true shine comes from within.